Rest with Confidence by Jordan Flowers

Depression is not a state of failure. Throughout this life, there will be ups and downs, there will be times of turmoil, there will be times of joy, there will be times of needing to bleed, and times of needing to heal. To deny oneself the moment of grief and loneliness, is to deny self of the reality of life. God does not frown upon us for having these moments of pain, of needing to take a moment to recover, when the moment is truly needed.

            We see this in 1 Kings 19:5-18, we see that Elijah, a prophet of the Lord has fled from the evil queen Jezebel who killed all the prophets of the Lord but Elijah after he had killed the prophets of Baal. Elijah had reason to be upset and exhausted, he had ran from everything for fear of his life and is now he is in the wilderness, wanting death.

            These are the moments that society and culture teaches us to believe that we are weak when we face these moments of downward spiral. The truth of the matter is, when we try to power through, pretending these moments have no hold on us. They begin to drown us from the inside leading to a crippling depression and even the final step to choosing death over life. Elijah was desperate, he was ready to give up, but instead of kicking him down and making him feel useless, God sent an angel to meet him where he was at.

            The angel brings him food and tells him to eat and rest because he does not have the energy to take the journey the Lord has for him. Elijah does as the angel says, partaking of nourishment and resting, giving himself a moment of pause. How hard is it for you to take a pause? To take a breath? To take that time to replenish?

            In my life, I have faced many situations where I felt desperate, I felt that the only thing I could do was march forward, be strong, be reliable, be dependable, be a man. Showing a weakness was not an option because if I showed any weakness at all, it would reveal that I am not the man that they need, not the man they would want around, that I am not enough. These times of desperation have caused me to spiral, pushing me into realms of depression and anger that disconnect me from the reality that everyone needs a break now and then.

            It’s easy to take care of other people, but when it comes to taking care of ourselves, it is almost as if we need to come to this point of breaking before we allow ourselves the necessity of rest. What if we choose not to get to the point of giving up before we allow ourselves to rest? What if we realize that the weight of the world doesn’t need to be on pour shoulders? That life isn’t dependent on, “how good of a Christian we are,” or, “how we keep it all together,” there is more to life than an appearance. We as followers of Christ have the right to be real with ourselves and with the Father, even with the people around us. That doesn’t mean we see the devil around every corner and blame persecution for the faith for every struggle we face, more being authentically broken.

            When Christ walked the earth, He didn’t surround Himself with the Pharisees or other spiritual leaders that were viewed as closer to God than the common folk at the time. He surrounded Himself with the authentic, the broken, the neglected, the cast aside. Those who appeared to have it all together and were seen as holier than thou, were the ones that Christ Himself called white-washed tombs. Their performances were not what Christ wanted, He desired their hearts, the good, the bad, and the ugly.

We do not have what it takes to uphold the calling on our lives by our own power. Even Elijah, a prophet of the Lord, was not a perfect man. He struggled with pride, anger, and impatience. Yet, due to his faithfulness to the Lord, he was taken up to heaven in a chariot of fire before his protégé’s eyes years later. God doesn’t care about how much you can push through on your own, He cares how much you lean on Him in the midst of the pain, in the midst of the trials, in the depths of the storms.

Rest is important, taking time for self-care is essential, waiting until we are at our breaking point doesn’t save more lives, it doesn’t make us stronger, it just makes us experience burnout that much faster. If you feel like you are barely hanging on, like you need to show up for everyone around you, take a moment. You are not weak for taking time, you are not failing anyone for taking care of yourself. Get some nourishment and some rest, you will need it for the journey ahead.